- Europeans: I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.
- Americans: I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I'm still in Florida.
- #australians: i drove for nine hours #now i'm nine hours away from home #no one is here #the streets are empty #how did this happen #where has civilisation gone #i am alone in the universe #oh wait no there's an echidna it's okay
i like that we say “oh, man” to express disappointment
because men are disappointing
man you know what I want? a superhero series where they have powers that 100% contradict their personalities. a fishermans daughter who lives by the sea, swims every day, learns that she can control fire. a boy who’s mortified of heights but realizes he can use antigravity and hates it. someone who was bitten by a dog as a child, suffers extreme fear around animals, can now communicate with them. they’re all disgusted by their powers.
write a book
to be the one you think of
when you can’t think straight."